Compatible Values

I think the biggest thing in relationships whether romantic, familial, or platonic, is that the people involved have compatible values.

In all those examples where someone thinks someone is nagging them all the time or someone feels the need to constantly police someones actions, I don’t think either person is inherently annoying or bad. They’re not even necessarily wrong in what they believe in.

The only issue is that there is a misalignment in values. And this causes them to have to try to control or change the other person in order to not compromise their own values. But that’s where they are actually wrong.

Find yourself someone who has values that align. Then you won’t have to nag someone or ask them to change their behavior. If your values align, you can just be with each other without parenting or controlling anyone.

Let’s take this pandemic as an example. Now I’m going to start off by saying that I believe everyone should be wearing masks and taking all necessary precautions to keep everyone around them safe.

Now within this idea of keeping everyone safe, people have different notions of how to go about it. The idea of safety itself has caused a lot of strain on people’s relationships. Who do you feel safe around? Do we value people the same way? Many questions bounce around people’s heads.

When finding people you want to have close to you like your closest friends or your partner, you don’t want to question things like this. You want to know that when life hits you with something rough, you and the people you keep closest to you will be able to get through it.

No, you won’t ever find someone with the exact same values, but you can find people whose values align where it matters. When life gives you lemons, you all bring an ingredient for lemonade. You shouldn’t question yourself and how to proceed. You shouldnt have to nag the other person to act in accordance to what you want.

Finding compatible values will help you figure out what relationships are worth taking further.

But on a side note, similar values doesn’t always mean the same opinions. It’s good not to be stuck in a bubble that reaffirms and doesn’t challenge you.

#lover #people #selfhelp #foresight #diversity #relationship #love #flaws #lifelesson #significantother