Confidence Is the Best Accessory

Confidence isn’t something you possess. It’s a decision. You decide to wear it in your life and no it’s not easy, but at the end of the day nothing gives you confidence except your decision to be confident.

Skills will never make you feel more confident because if you don’t choose confidence, you will always be stuck in the imposter syndrome of but there is so much I don’t know how to do.

Knowledge won’t give you confidence unless you choose confidence because you will always want to learn more.

People believing in you won’t give you confidence because there will always be someone whose approval you seek, but you won’t be able to get. Not one individual can please everyone, and confidence comes from only seeking your own approval.

Now even if we think of confidence as a choice, it isn’t easy to make this decision. It takes time to make your confidence unwavering, but I’ve learned that everyday you choose to put up a face of confidence is a day that this choice becomes easier.

Some things that help me make this choice are:

1. Everyone has insecurities. You don’t need to hide them, and they don’t need to rule your actions. The best way to face them is to recognize that several other people have the same insecurity. If this many people fear the same thing, then why are we fearing it? It’s clearly a normal thing.

2. Again everyone has insecurities – and this is an advantage to us all. Nobody is as focused on you and whatever makes you feel insecure because everyone else is too focused on if people are seeing their insecurity. If you’re feeling insecure about the way your hair looks, I guarentee the next person over is more focused on themselves rather than your hair.

3. When you do something with confidence, other people perceive your insecurities as a normal thing to not be ashamed of. The opposite is also true. People who start trends aren’t always more inventive or inherently more likable. Sometimes the key is the confidence with which they present something. Imagine someone selling you a box with an unknown item in it. This item represents insecurities (things we are ashamed of but are hiding from the world). If they present this box to you in a confident manner (chin up, bold voice, smile on their face) are you going to question the item as much as if they present it to you with a wavering attitude (no eye contact, sad face, no confidence in voice). Both times, the item is the same unknown thing, but with the latter, people are less likely to take it.

4. When you walk into a room with the decision to be confident (it can even start out as a fake confidence), people will treat you differently. They will buy what you tell them. People with less talent are often praised in front of struggling highly talented individuals. The only difference is that one comes in telling everyone they should be respected and the other one let’s everyone decide for themselves with the an input of uncertainty.

5. Sometimes the choice to be confident is more of a choice of acting confident. This is okay too because sometimes it takes seeing the way the world reacts to you differently to acknowledge your inner confidence.

6. Try what works for you and whatever makes the choice of confidence easier to make.

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