Why Do We Give Our Negative Thoughts More Credibility Than Our Positive Thoughts?
All the negative thoughts in my head seem to stick more than the positive ones.
I can very easily brush past the good job you did well and go linger on the why didn’t you do that? Or that person was right, I could have done this better.
It’s so easy to fall into the negativity trap because it’s easier being right about being bad at something than being wrong about being good. We need to stop this. Self-aware and self-deprecating need to be distinguished.
Self-aware is knowing your strengths and working on the weaknesses that are a priority in your life. In these situations, you can say ‘I’m good at singing and I need to work on singing this song because it’s in a harder key for me.’ This dialogue is not harmful and we aren’t saying that we know how to do things that we don’t.
Self-depricating is not knowing if you can say you know something, so you automatically downplay everything you do in hopes that you will always exceed someone’s standards if the standard starts out low. In these situations, you might say ‘I suck at singing. I can barely sing this song.’ This dialogue is harmful. In the moment it seems fine. You are just keeping people’s expectations low and you will keep doing what you want to do, but these are the thoughts that fuel our negative thoughts behavior.
We start rationalizing the negative thoughts in our brain and continue down a self-deprecation spiral. This is the behavior that starts making us forget the difference between honest and mean.
No, we won’t be great at everything. This doesn’t mean that as an individual, your worth is lesser and trying to keep people’s standards low so that you exceed them is the beginning of lowering your own standards and your self image.
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